QWERTY: My E3 2009 Predictions

Disclaimer: QWERTY’s opinions are not mine nor the site’s. The psudonym QWERTY is used to protect the innocent.

E3 is back to its old extravaganza self, which means everyone else over the next week on the net will start crapping themselves over all the awesomeness. The starry-eyed masses will flitter around claiming how everything will remake the way we play games. In fact you know there is going to be so much awesomeness there, because a great majority of the announcements have already been revealed, leaked, etc. That means there has to be even greater awesomeness for the show.

Wait…we’re now betting on this. Ok I’m game.

Nintendo will reveal new hardware that most people with have utterly no use for and have one bright spot on the horizon in the form of Mario/Link/Icarus, but otherwise waste everyone’s time.

Microsoft will spend most of their time showing of multiplatform 3rd party games and somehow take the credit like they were exclusives and then cover it up with something Halo.

Sony will just show their fall lineup and be declared winner of the hardcore.

Of course Nintendo will still get all the cash.

Or did you want something not so obvious. Why not, with 10,000 to 1 odds being thrown about I’ll take it to the bank. (Where is this and why am I not in on it? – Eric Swain)

Devil May Cry 5 and/or Onimusha 5 will be announced.

Wii______ will be announced.

We will see a rehashed trailer of something already leaked via Sony.

Guitar Hero 6 will be mentioned at least once even in passing.

Everyone will claim to be winning the game by spinning the fact and only Nintendo will have any credibility.

The word billion will be thrown about.

Terrorists will be the subjects of one or more games.

The Unfinished Swan will be mentioned.

As will Duke Nukem forever. I of course will be making more fun of it.

Battletoads 3D for the Wii for 2010. (Battletoads? Really? – Eric Swain)

Mirror’s Edge 2 will have Co-op.

Assassin’s Creed 2 will feature space aliens.

Final Fantasy XIII Crystal Chronicles-2 Versus Dragon Quest X will be shown in CG trailer form.

The number of colons will exceed Los Angles capacity and overflow the convention center.

Magpie-gamer analogy will be said somewhere by someone. Most likely on twitter.

I could go on, but I won’t as I’m taking the easy road now and am not paying attention E3 or taking responsibility for any claims. You can direct those to the site’s owner. I will be.