QWERTY: Sony’s Diabolical Plan to Drive Me Insane

(This is the first…thing I got from him. It is reproduced here exactly as written. I have nothing further to say. – The Swain)

Disclaimer: QWERTY’s opinions are not mine nor the site’s. The psudonym QWERTY is used to protect the innocent.

Flower is pretty. There, that’s my obligatory nice thing to say about it.

People tried to explain it to me. I told them to stop. No killing, fine, instead I’m a flower petal; BUT WAIT, no not really. In reality I’m the wind. Wind that apparently has gone off its Ritalin medication and has a bad case of Parkinson’s disease. Right and left apparently don’t apply in this world. The premise of all of this is that you are playing the dream of a flower.

-blink blink-Excuse me Descartes, do plant’s think?

At least it kept giving me pretty things.

Next Noby Noby Boy. So I’m a Life Savors inspired caterpillar, doing stuff for my millions of miles long girlfriend in space that… I… Ah…. Wel…

-Time Passes-

Ok, I have the trophies. I can walk away now. I beat Noby NoBi boY. I’m told I should think of it as a sandbox game. Where’re the guns? Cars? Hookers? Well? Sandbox my ass…which apparently can make centaurs. All of this based upon a syphilitic acid trip.

Was this a good game? I honestly have no idea. Though since I woke up with half eaten lipstick on my mouth next to a garbage can without pants I figured it was at least a good Saturday night. My phone tells me its Thursday. I wish it would stop trying to imitate Dirty Harry, if I need to know the time I’ll open it to colors swirling and then snaps in two, curls back and eats your own ass, puzzle solved. Let the L block land now. (??? -The Swain)

Finally there’s Linger in Shadows. I thought, “How awesome is that title. Holy shit that sounds awesome. And it’s only three bucks.”

This is apparently German. It’s as good excuse as any why I’m trying to spin a concrete flying dog to distract a floating metal squid while time has been frozen. This is after you fly into a cat’s eye to make barrels act like a kaleidoscope, while making a city fall around you.

Double-checking blood samples for traces of n0bee no2 BoiY.

-Crickets chirp-

‘And you walk on down the hall, and And he came to a door…and he looked inside Father, Yes son, I want to kill you, Mother…I want to…(And that’s enough of that now – The Swain).

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *