November 10th TWIVGB

I took the reigns from Kris Ligman for this week’s TWIVGB feature so she could go on vacation. Enjoy Montana Kris.

Usually I just fill up space here with some anecdote or quick observation regarding the round up. Instead I want to take this time to address something I’m betting no one has noticed, but has really been bothering me regarding the TWIVGBs.

Way back when I first became affiliated with Critical Distance I made a public declaration both here and on twitter, something I’m sure no one actually remembers. I will not submit or recommend any of my own work for TWIVGB. Back then during any given week my recommendations made up 60-90% of all the content in a round up. Ben had a lot on his plate with a PHD and all. I didn’t think it fair to recommend my own stuff. I leave that for anyone else to recommend or the editors to find.

For better or worse I’ve stuck to that policy. Occationally I’ve thought about giving up that personal policy, but have always decided against it. I’m a stubborn sort. Lately, however, I’ve noticed what to me is a somewhat disturbing trend. I doubt anyone but me has noticed. The only weeks where one of my pieces makes it into a TWIVGB are the weeks that I’m writing it. (Two exceptions were when Mattie Brice and Lana Polansky tried their hands at it.) Every time Kris is doing the round up I never make the cut. Of course that might have something to do that I’ve written quite a few ‘get it done, get it out the door pieces’ this year as I try to keep deadlines. But still it’s an unfortunate trend.

I don’t even know if the essays I wrote were worthy of being included. I don’t think or evaluate on any piece that has my name attached. Same with the yearly round up, where I get the other editors to dictate anything written by me. As for the weeklies, Kris sends me the links she collected, got sent through via email etc. I will judge for myself if any of those should be included save my own. I cannot fairly judge my own work. I’m trusting Kris to have evaluated it and included it on the list because it is worthy of inclusion. Maybe each week I only make it to the first draft outline. I don’t know.

I wanted to put that out there. It’s a writer’s prerogative to be paranoid about one’s own self worth. Like I said, I doubt anyone remembers or cares about the limitations I place on myself. But then again I’ve never placed much stock regarding something’s worth with the validation of the masses.