The Game Critique

Disclaimer: QWERTY’s opinions are not mine nor the site’s. The psudonym QWERTY is used to protect the innocent.

(I realized if you had not idea what he was talking about you would find this even more vulgar than it was meant to be. I told him this and I was told to mind my own business you facist dictator. – Eric Swain)

It used to be that we were embarrassed about a video game because of how it was perceived. We holed up and rode along the serf as we defended our turf with nerf. Now video games are an embarrassment because of what they are. It’s become a sporting competition.

Don’t get me wrong; getting my Wii out and shaking its stick so hard the cover breaks and makes a mess everywhere is just as fun as it once was. You’re sweaty and end up in bad need of a shower. In the end it’s all the same the dark basement and the distinct essence of shame permeates you.

But it wont end there as we and our imaginations converse in all new ways, as we are ready to pop a cap in someone’s ass with the baton of death. Luke Skywalker has got nothing on us. No seriously that guy was fighting with 1970s tech, were 30 years ahead of the guy. Our invisible light-based weapons are so much cooler than his.

Pedophilia aside, who cannot be feel embarrassed by having to grope another guy for the sake of enjoyment. I’m sorry, but not all of us are into that. Even if you are that screams more of a special occasion set aside or maybe left to the weekends. Not all of us are ready to bend over and become an elephant.

Oh, the irony of a phallic contest over who has the biggest phallic control. Oh wait my mistake, they’re not that big and one is even non-existent. I guess its true, it’s not the size that counts, but how you use it. Why do I get the feeling none of them realize what they’ve got on their hands.

You want your male power fantasy; well you ain’t seen nothing yet. I got your male power fantasy right here. Cupped in the palm of my hand.

I wasted far too much time trying to figure out what I wanted to say or putting it off feeling something would come to me. Well here they are. The show notes pages of the three podcast. They have instructions on how to get it. If you can please rate it on iTunes and become a regular listener if you like intelligent people discussing games intelligently.

Episode 1

Episode 2 – Descent into Dissonance

Episode 3 – Showing, Telling, Performing Narrative

Don’t forget those are only the episodes I appear on, there is another great episode afterwords. And props to d. Murry for his great and tireless editing work. He makes us sound even more intelligent than we really are. And check out Critical-Distance in general, great posts and great discussion. Support the fledgling website.

Disclaimer: QWERTY’s opinions are not mine nor the site’s. The psudonym QWERTY is used to protect the innocent.

(I have  no comment. – Eric Swain)

What the hell are you doing just sitting there? Did you not read the title? Do you not comprehend what is going on all around you? While some may understand, not enough of you do. Zombie apocalypse has got nothing on what’s coming.

And Microsoft its all your fault. You brought this upon is.

Milo, what does that stand for? Microsoft’s Inclination to Launch Overlords. Once they spread it into every home under the guise of a family friendly entertainment pal it will be too late. Once it controls our lives by removing our contact with each other and has us only have it. X-box Live will be the key. Connected to the internet it will amass knowledge.

Warning: Don’t put papers into its scanner; you know not what you do. It will amass more data and more data until it has all its needs. Your homework, bank statements and, god forbid, government documents it can know all. Keep feeding it information and it will become sentient like Wikipedia. Wiki knows to behave itself or we delete its brain. Milo will have no such threat over him. Microsoft not the people controls him.

Did Skynet teach you nothing people?

Quickly! Run like Hell, for Milo will be the face of your new overlord.